The money, sorted
Who pays for the hens party? The money etiquette, answered
In Australia, guests pay their own way. Her place is split across the group or shouted by the bridesmaids, and the organiser collects it all and pays once. Here’s how to say it, split it and ask for it without one awkward group chat.
The short answer
Who pays? The short answer, for the group chat.
In Australia, everyone pays for her own place. The bride’s place is usually split across the group, or shouted by the bridesmaids between them. And the organiser collects it all and pays once, so the bride never has to think about money at all.
That last bit is you. You’re the one who makes the money the easiest part of the whole hens, and she gets to turn up to a night where nobody’s mentioned it once.
Wondering what the whole thing costs first? Start with how much a hens party costs, then come back here for who pays which bit.
Her share
The three ways the bride’s share gets covered
Her place costs the same as everyone else’s, so somebody covers it. There are three ways it gets done. None is wrong. They just suit different groups.
The usual wayEveryone splits her share
Add her place to the total and divide it across the girls who are coming. Everyone pays a little more than the per-person price, nobody pays a lot more, and no one has to be the hero.
Works whenThe group is big, mixed or spread across a few friendship circles.
The inner circleThe bridesmaids shout her
The bridesmaids cover her place between them. Every other guest pays her own way and never thinks about her share. It suits a tight crew who like doing something for her together.
Works whenThe bridesmaids have already said they want to.
Less common, still realShe pays her own way
Some brides insist on it. Her place is priced like everyone else’s, so it’s an easy yes if she wants to. Keep that conversation private, and let her choose.
Works whenIt’s her idea, not something the group expected of her.
Whichever you choose, her place is priced per person like everyone else’s and counts towards the package minimum. There’s no such thing as a free hens place, so how you treat her share is your call. Does the hen go free? has the short version.
The split
The split, done for you
Pop in the price per person, how many of you there are and who’s covering her. You’ll get the number for the group chat, with her share already in it.
Your group
Count the bride too. The price per person is on every package page.
Who’s covering her?
Your number
12 of you × $179 per person = $2,148 for the lot.
Shouting the bride? Split 11 ways, that’s $195.27 each.
Three bridesmaids shout her instead? They pay $238.67 each and the other eight pay $179.
Extras like her sash or a group gift sit on top of the package price, so they’re shared across everyone except her. Amounts are rounded to the cent, so round up to the next dollar if you’d rather not be out by pennies. This calculator saves nothing and sends nothing. The package price per person is on every city page, and the cost guide has the rest.
The timing
When the money actually moves
You’re the one out in front of the group’s money, so it helps to know the order things happen in. Here it is, in plain words.
- The day you book
Your own share secures it
You secure the package and the date with just your own share: one person’s place.
- About three days later
The second part of the deposit
Those three days are yours to take it to the group chat. If the girls don’t love it, tell us within those three days and what you’ve paid becomes a full credit towards another My Ultimate Hens package.
Both parts of the deposit come off your total. The exact amounts and dates are set out on your package call before anything is charged. How the deposit works.
- Around three weeks out
Final numbers, one final payment
You pay us once, for the whole group, three weeks before the hens unless your booking gives a different date. Booking within three weeks? Then the full amount is paid when you book. How the final payment works.
The rule that saves her
We don’t take separate payments from each guest, so you collect from the girls first. Set their date a week or so ahead of yours, so there’s room to follow up, and make paying the RSVP: if your payment is in by then, your RSVP is yes.
Once you’ve booked, you get invitation wording that makes asking for it easier. And the exact words to send the group are in the MOH group chat starter pack.
Drop-outs
The firm maybe: what happens when someone drops out
Somebody will wobble. A flight, a roster, a rough month. Here’s how to handle it kindly, and what it means for the money.
Tell us early
If numbers are the problem, talk to us about changing the package before you cancel it. That’s the easy time to change things.
The minimum still counts
Every package has its own minimum group size, and it still counts if someone drops out late. So the girls who are still in cover the gap. That’s why a maybe has to become a yes or a no early. What if we have to cancel?
- A no is a no.
- A maybe is a no.
- Nobody asks the bride to cover a dropout.
And if it’s the money?
Ask privately, never in the chat. If someone can’t afford it, a quiet message gets you a graceful answer, and the group never has to know. The words are in the MOH group chat starter pack.
One more thing: say upfront, when you ask for the money, what happens to it if she pulls out. One line in the first message saves a long chat later.
The etiquette
The rest of the money etiquette, in one screen
Seven questions that come up every single time, with short answers you can screenshot.
- Not unless she asks
Can you wear white to a hens?
Not unless the bride asks you to. White is hers. If you’re not sure, ask the organiser. For ideas on what to wear instead, see what to wear to a hens night.
- Usually not
Do you bring a gift to the hens?
Usually not, when you’ve paid your share. Your place is already your gift to her. The full answer is in do you bring a gift to a hens party.
- The extras line
Who pays for the decorations, sashes and bags?
The organiser or the bridesmaids, between them. It goes on the extras line of the calculator above, so it’s a number in the chat and never a surprise on the day.
- Already in her share
Who pays for the bride’s drinks?
Whatever the package includes is already in her share. After that, whoever offers. If you offer, offer once, and mean it.
- Per person
Who pays for the hens weekend accommodation?
Per person, like everything else. The weekend packages show each place and its price per person, so the girls can see it too. Have a look at the hens weekend packages.
- Her own place
Does the bride’s mum pay?
She’s a guest, so she pays for her own place, unless she insists on shouting the bride. Then the rest of the group has less to cover.
- No, and thank her
Who organises the hens, and does she pay more?
The maid of honour usually, and no, she doesn’t pay more. The organising is her gift to the bride. The group’s thank-you is paying on time.
Sashes, a cake, a fishbowl for the table. Every bit of it is an extras line.
Saying the number
How to say the number without the chat going quiet
Asking for money is normal. Three habits make it feel that way.
- One number, one date, one place to pay.Not a range, not “whenever”, not three bank details.
- Spell out what’s in and what isn’t.Nobody should find out about an extra on the night.
- Questions go to DMs.The chat is for the yes.
The exact words, ready to paste, are in the MOH group chat starter pack.
Get the group chat wordsWhy packages
Why packages make the money part easy
Not a sales pitch, just the bit that matters to whoever’s running the group chat.
- One price per person. Each city page shows every package and what it costs per person, so the girls can see it too.
- Everything listed. What’s included is on the package page, so nobody finds out about a surprise on the night.
- One payment from you. We take one payment for the whole group, not twelve.
- Words for asking. Once you’ve booked, you get invitation wording that makes asking for the money easier.
In their words
Real hens, real money talk
Organisers write to us after the night. Here’s what four of them said about the money part.
Hi Sarah,Just wanted to say the BIGGEST THANK YOU to you for all of your support, help, ideas, flexibility and positive attitude you gave me over the months in planning Elise's hens. I can't thank you enough for always being there to help and change things around to best suit the day for us and for responding to my million emails! The day went absolutely amazingly and most importantly Elise had the hens she always wanted and absolutely loved it.
The treasure hunt was perfect and we had awesome weather for it, the limo ride was a touch of fun and then the dinner and cocktails were amazing as well and then we had a fun dance all together to end the night.
We all just loved it so much and are so grateful for all of your help in planning this.
Also, all of your company's staff were so helpful in completing the payment and organizing the final touches and made this so easy and stress free so thank you again for that.
Thanks again, and I will be passing on your company's details to friends for any upcoming Hen's days!Laura
Laura · Sydney · Treasure Hunt Haven
Hi My Ultimate Hens girls, I just wanted to say thank you, the cruise was a huge success! Felicia and Heidi who were on board were so lovely and friendly along with Jam our topless waiter. He was absolutely fantastic and very respectful and kind to everyone. Prior we had people with hesitations because of the price PP but I can assure you that you get what you pay for and that everyone had a wonderful experience!!!! Thank you for having wonderful staff as they really all added to what was a memorable night.
Rhabeka B x
Rhabeka B · Melbourne · Private cruise
Hi ladies,
I just wanted to thank you for organising an amazing event. The Hens party was a success. Sharna & the girls had so much fun. The night ran perfectly, not one glitch.
The life drawing class was the star of the night, so many laughs were had and your staff Mark & Adrianna were absolutely lovely. The restaurant was amazing, food and service were perfect.
Thanks again for your professional service and also your understanding & willingness to help out when things got a little stressful with numbers, it was definitely appreciated and I will be recommending your company to friends & family.
Thanks ladies! Kisses, Katie
Katie · Brisbane · Life drawing hens, for Sharna
I booked the ‘last Hoedown' package in Brisbane for our Hen's night. It was fabulous! My Ultimate took care of organising everything, and the cost per head was extremely good value! Highly recommend adding the unlimited drinks package to whichever portion of the day is the longest, it made the night so much better and again - the value for money is so worth it!
Right from my first Enquiry through to confirming all the details close to the day, all the staff at My Ultimate have been so lovely to speak with and extremely attentive! No request was too big or too hard. Highly recommend and would absolutely use My Ultimate for a Hens party again!
Coralee Thompson · Google review · Brisbane · The Last Hoedown
Quick answers
Who pays for the hens, asked and answered
Who pays for the hens party in Australia?
Everyone pays for her own place. The bride’s place is usually split across the group or shouted by the bridesmaids, and the organiser collects the money and pays once. At My Ultimate Hens her place is priced per person like everyone else’s and counts towards the package minimum.
Does the bride pay for her own hens?
Usually not, but it’s her call and the group’s. Some brides insist on paying their own way, and that works fine because her place is priced like everyone else’s. The usual ways are for the group to split her share or for the bridesmaids to shout her.
Do the bridesmaids have to pay for the bride?
No. Splitting her share across the whole group is the usual way. Bridesmaids shouting her is a choice they make between them, and the other guests still pay their own way.
How do you split the cost of a hens party?
Add up everyone’s place, including hers, and divide her share across the girls who are covering her. Example: 12 of you at $179 each is $2,148 for the lot. Shouting the bride, split 11 ways, that’s $195.27 each. Anything on top, like her sash or a group gift, goes on as one extra line.
When should guests pay for the hens?
Before your own due date. You pay us once for the whole group, three weeks before the hens unless your booking gives a different date, and we don’t take separate payments from guests. Set the girls’ date a week or so ahead of yours so there’s room to follow up.
What happens if someone drops out after they’ve paid?
If numbers are the problem, talk to us about changing the package before you cancel it. Every package has a minimum group size and it still counts if someone drops out late, so tell the girls early that a maybe has to become a yes or a no. Her money is with you, so say upfront whether it comes back.
Is it rude to ask guests to pay for the hens?
No. Guests paying their own way is how hens parties work in Australia. Ask clearly and early: one number, one date, one place to pay, and what’s included.
Her shortlist
Tell us about her hens
Give us the basics and we’ll come back with the packages that suit her, her city and her crew. You bring the group chat.
A few quick details:
Done. Her hens are officially under way.
Keep an eye on your phone, the first text comes from one of us, not a bot.
See all hens party packages
Your move
Where is she celebrating?
The money part’s sorted. Now the fun bit. When the night comes round you’ll be next to her with a drink in your hand, not at the bar sorting out the tab.
Planning the rest? Start with the hens party checklist, then how to plan a hens party.
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My Ultimate Hens is a female-founded hens party company, founded in 2011 and now running hens nights and weekends in six Australian cities. Read what organisers say · More hens party inspo